3 Reasons You SHOULD NOT Be Friends With Benefits 💘 | FWB

Relationships

Friends with benefits may sound like fun, but you can be walking into a very dangerous situation. Keep watching so I can explain to you the three reasons why you should not be friends with benefits. (Music) Hey, it’s Stephan Labossiere aka Stephan Speaks your personal certified life and relationship coach providing you with relationship insight and advice, dating insight and advice, and just all the help you need to improve your overall quality of life. Well, today we are discussing the issue of friends with benefits. Now, I’m going to give you three reasons why you should not become friends with benefits.

Now, before I get into the three reasons why, be sure to like the video, subscribe to my channel, hit that bell so that you can get the notification. And I want to mention to you, you see this little book sitting next to me, “HE’S LYING SIS”, check it out. I’ll explain a little bit more later as to what you can look forward to in this book.

And how it also connects to this subject of friends with benefits. But click the link in the description, click the link in the comment section and get your copy. Also, you know I love of polls.

So, in the comment section tell me yes or no. Would you be open to a friends with benefits situation? I want to see how many people are really vibing with this type of dynamic and how many of you are like absolutely no, that doesn’t work for me. And vote before you hear the rest of the reasons because the reasons that I explain might change your perspective, which I’m hoping.https://oppositelock.kinja.com/facebook-dating-sucks-a-rant-1837349797

But I want to hear how you currently view it where you currently stand with the idea of being friends with benefits. So, let’s move things along, let’s get on to the topic. Three reasons why you should not be friends with benefits, reason number one, someone is lying. Okay, now, here’s what I mean by that. Listen, in the vast majority of friends with benefits situation someone is angling for something more than just that.

They just don’t want to be friends with benefits. They just don’t want to just have sexual relations. They want to have the ability to get closer to you and hopefully evolve into something more. Now, this can be the man or the woman.

I’ve seen it happen both ways, but that leads to a very messy situation and this is where things can get really hectic. And at some point it just creates a lot of drama because again, people aren’t coming into these situations with genuine intentions of keeping it at just friends with benefits. And sometimes yes, they may have started off really truly believing they can handle this, or that’s what they wanted. But then, very quickly it turns into something else, but they are not always forthcoming about that, because they don’t want to rock the boat.

They don’t want to ruin this opportunity to still kick it with you and still have you in an intimate way. However, that creates a lot of issues because again, they can start to generate resentment, they can start to feel some kind of way, they can start to try to attempt to regulate certain things with you. When, when it comes to friends with benefits, there is no regulating what we do. We’re just hooking up that’s it, and I’ll do another video breaking down the whole friends with benefits dynamic and how it all works.

But the point, point of this is that yes, someone is typically lying. I’m not saying, it’s never been a situation where two people genuinely were okay with this, and we’re on the same page, but that’s not usually what’s going on, all right, so, a big reason not to get involved in it. Now, reason number two not to get into friends with benefits, you are blocking your ability to receive the person who is for you. So, here’s the thing, a lot of times I get it, you go into friends with benefits relationships because you, you want companionship, maybe right now you’re not really ready for a relationship.

And you figure you know what, you want a no strings attached situation, you want something easy, you don’t want anything with a hassle, and so this seems very appealing to you. However, the reality is that even though you don’t want a relationship right now, you still at the core of who you are eventually will want one, okay. And technically still do want one now is that you don’t want the bs, the nonsense you feel comes along with relationships.

You’re typically jaded in some kind of way and you’ve just feel like you know what, this is an easier route to take. So, what happens now is you’ve shifted your focus onto the situation because you’re still invested to some level. Again, you’re getting intimate with this individual, you’re still spending time with this individual, which is why as we talked about in number one, it’s very easy to get caught up and things to get messy.

But now, you’ve essentially taken yourself off the market. And even though people may think well, you know what, it’s not a big deal. If I meet someone better, someone I actually want to be with, I can jump into that. That’s not what typically is going to happen. You’re tying yourself up, you’re, you’re hindering your ability to receive and be open to something that’s real coming your way.

And so, you have to be very mindful of what you’re setting yourself up for and how you’re setting yourself back in the long run, when it comes to trying to get that genuine relationship. And again, I’ve seen so many people who’ll claim right now even claim, I don’t want marriage in my future and then years later, you want marriage. You got to be honest with yourself, all right.

And you can’t run from what you truly desire deep inside because you’re caught up in the moment and how you feel right now that’s very, very dangerous, all right. So, number three, the third reason why you should not become friends with benefits. But before I tell you that third reason let me tell you real quick about the book. “HE’S LYING SIS” so, again this is a book that breaks down the truth behind his words and his actions. It is breaking down various different scenarios that women commonly come across. Explaining them, explaining how to handle them, explaining how to decrease the, the chances of deception occurring in your relationship and how to see through these things.

And just essentially helping women avoid the pitfalls. I know some of you are saying, well, women lie too, where is the book for men? That’s coming, that’s later don’t worry about that right now. For now, let’s focus on the book for women HE’S LYING SIS. women are loving it.

It already has some amazing reviews. So, again, clink the link in the description, click the link in the comment section, get your copy, you’re going to love it, it is worth it. So, let’s get back to the three reasons why you should not become friends with benefits.

And the third reason is because you’re running from your issues. So, here’s what I mean. The reality is that again, friends with benefits is like a Band-Aid to the deeper problem going on in your life. It seems like the easier route, it seems like it’s going to be fun.

And so, one, you have some people who are going into it, like I mentioned in the first reason for the wrong intentions. They really want to get with that person in a serious way so they’re, they’re finding that back door to that person’s heart hoping that it gets them there. But also, like I said, you may be jaded from relationships as I mentioned in number two. You may have been hurt, you may feel like committed relationships, serious relationships come with too much stress, too much hurt. And so, you’re now trying to find an alternate path to companionship.

But the reality is that that is blinding you from what you should be focusing on, which is your healing, which is getting past those previous pains and disappointments, which is learning how to overcome those things, process those things better, and then working on yourself. Because the reality is that again, when we are invested into any kind of situation, and I know some of you may think, well, it’s friends with benefits, it’s not much of an investment. You’re still investing, again, depending on the amount of time you spend with that person will determine the level, but to some degree you’re still invested, and you still view it as your getaway from reality. And again, it’s kind of your hiding place essentially. But that isn’t healthy.

Friends with benefits may sound like fun, but you can be walking into a very dangerous situation. Keep watching so I can explain to you the three reasons why you should not be friends with benefits. (Music) Hey, it’s Stephan Labossiere aka Stephan Speaks your personal certified life and relationship coach providing you with relationship insight and advice, dating insight and advice, and just all the help you need to improve your overall quality of life. Well, today we are discussing the issue of friends with benefits. Now, I’m going to give you three reasons why you should not become friends with benefits.

Now, before I get into the three reasons why, be sure to like the video, subscribe to my channel, hit that bell so that you can get the notification. And I want to mention to you, you see this little book sitting next to me, “HE’S LYING SIS”, check it out. I’ll explain a little bit more later as to what you can look forward to in this book.

And how it also connects to this subject of friends with benefits. But click the link in the description, click the link in the comment section and get your copy. Also, you know I love of polls.

Relationships

So, in the comment section tell me yes or no. Would you be open to a friends with benefits situation? I want to see how many people are really vibing with this type of dynamic and how many of you are like absolutely no, that doesn’t work for me. And vote before you hear the rest of the reasons because the reasons that I explain might change your perspective, which I’m hoping.

But I want to hear how you currently view it where you currently stand with the idea of being friends with benefits. So, let’s move things along, let’s get on to the topic. Three reasons why you should not be friends with benefits, reason number one, someone is lying. Okay, now, here’s what I mean by that. Listen, in the vast majority of friends with benefits situation someone is angling for something more than just that.

They just don’t want to be friends with benefits. They just don’t want to just have sexual relations. They want to have the ability to get closer to you and hopefully evolve into something more. Now, this can be the man or the woman.

I’ve seen it happen both ways, but that leads to a very messy situation and this is where things can get really hectic. And at some point it just creates a lot of drama because again, people aren’t coming into these situations with genuine intentions of keeping it at just friends with benefits. And sometimes yes, they may have started off really truly believing they can handle this, or that’s what they wanted. But then, very quickly it turns into something else, but they are not always forthcoming about that, because they don’t want to rock the boat.

They don’t want to ruin this opportunity to still kick it with you and still have you in an intimate way. However, that creates a lot of issues because again, they can start to generate resentment, they can start to feel some kind of way, they can start to try to attempt to regulate certain things with you. When, when it comes to friends with benefits, there is no regulating what we do. We’re just hooking up that’s it, and I’ll do another video breaking down the whole friends with benefits dynamic and how it all works.

But the point, point of this is that yes, someone is typically lying. I’m not saying, it’s never been a situation where two people genuinely were okay with this, and we’re on the same page, but that’s not usually what’s going on, all right, so, a big reason not to get involved in it. Now, reason number two not to get into friends with benefits, you are blocking your ability to receive the person who is for you. So, here’s the thing, a lot of times I get it, you go into friends with benefits relationships because you, you want companionship, maybe right now you’re not really ready for a relationship.

And you figure you know what, you want a no strings attached situation, you want something easy, you don’t want anything with a hassle, and so this seems very appealing to you. However, the reality is that even though you don’t want a relationship right now, you still at the core of who you are eventually will want one, okay. And technically still do want one now is that you don’t want the bs, the nonsense you feel comes along with relationships.

You’re typically jaded in some kind of way and you’ve just feel like you know what, this is an easier route to take. So, what happens now is you’ve shifted your focus onto the situation because you’re still invested to some level. Again, you’re getting intimate with this individual, you’re still spending time with this individual, which is why as we talked about in number one, it’s very easy to get caught up and things to get messy.

But now, you’ve essentially taken yourself off the market. And even though people may think well, you know what, it’s not a big deal. If I meet someone better, someone I actually want to be with, I can jump into that. That’s not what typically is going to happen. You’re tying yourself up, you’re, you’re hindering your ability to receive and be open to something that’s real coming your way.

And so, you have to be very mindful of what you’re setting yourself up for and how you’re setting yourself back in the long run, when it comes to trying to get that genuine relationship. And again, I’ve seen so many people who’ll claim right now even claim, I don’t want marriage in my future and then years later, you want marriage. You got to be honest with yourself, all right.

And you can’t run from what you truly desire deep inside because you’re caught up in the moment and how you feel right now that’s very, very dangerous, all right. So, number three, the third reason why you should not become friends with benefits. But before I tell you that third reason let me tell you real quick about the book. “HE’S LYING SIS” so, again this is a book that breaks down the truth behind his words and his actions. It is breaking down various different scenarios that women commonly come across. Explaining them, explaining how to handle them, explaining how to decrease the, the chances of deception occurring in your relationship and how to see through these things.

And just essentially helping women avoid the pitfalls. I know some of you are saying, well, women lie too, where is the book for men? That’s coming, that’s later don’t worry about that right now. For now, let’s focus on the book for women HE’S LYING SIS. women are loving it.

It already has some amazing reviews. So, again, clink the link in the description, click the link in the comment section, get your copy, you’re going to love it, it is worth it. So, let’s get back to the three reasons why you should not become friends with benefits.

And the third reason is because you’re running from your issues. So, here’s what I mean. The reality is that again, friends with benefits is like a Band-Aid to the deeper problem going on in your life. It seems like the easier route, it seems like it’s going to be fun.

And so, one, you have some people who are going into it, like I mentioned in the first reason for the wrong intentions. They really want to get with that person in a serious way so they’re, they’re finding that back door to that person’s heart hoping that it gets them there. But also, like I said, you may be jaded from relationships as I mentioned in number two. You may have been hurt, you may feel like committed relationships, serious relationships come with too much stress, too much hurt. And so, you’re now trying to find an alternate path to companionship.

But the reality is that that is blinding you from what you should be focusing on, which is your healing, which is getting past those previous pains and disappointments, which is learning how to overcome those things, process those things better, and then working on yourself. Because the reality is that again, when we are invested into any kind of situation, and I know some of you may think, well, it’s friends with benefits, it’s not much of an investment. You’re still investing, again, depending on the amount of time you spend with that person will determine the level, but to some degree you’re still invested, and you still view it as your getaway from reality. And again, it’s kind of your hiding place essentially. But that isn’t healthy.

That’s not what you need to do. And for some of you, some of you may be using it as a way to escape the friendzone when you figure, okay, well, I don’t want to just be friends with this person and be stuck in the friendzone, but right now, I can’t get a relationship with them. So, let me use this as a middle ground until maybe they’re going to be ready for something serious, but using it to not be in the friendzone, again is that backdoor approach that isn’t healthy. So, all that gets back to, you’ve got to use this time to focus on you and being friends with benefits can hinder that greatly. A lot of people don’t make the progress they need to make when they’re emotionally or intimately involved with someone.

Not to mention that when you’re dealing with someone on that level, you’re still going to deal with them possibly doing things to make you mad, them doing things that get under your skin, which are all distractions from you focusing on you, from you growing, from you getting to a better place. So, at the end of day it’s just not going to be worth it. I know it’s tempting. I know for a lot of people they might, you might be watching this and you’re in one right now. But I’m telling you for the bigger picture of your life, it’s really not in your best interest and it’s really best to be left alone.

Now, let me throw this in, I am not going to ever advocate for being friends with benefits though I understand why people do it? I also think that yes, if two people are genuinely on the same page and this is what they want, they’re grown adults. That’s your choice go ahead, but be honest with yourself.

Are you really on the same page? And is this really best for you? You see, I’m explaining why this isn’t best for you. Now, I will do a video in the future of how it can possibly, Now, you know what, I can’t even say that, I was just to say how it could possibly work. But to be honest with you, my own situations don’t really work.

There’s always something that comes about it that creates a problem. And again, usually one of those people want more. So, all that does, when that individual finds themselves giving themselves to that other person for all these years, months, whatever, and they don’t get what they really wanted out of the situation they feel depleted, they feel drained, they feel betrayed, and it creates more damage. It’s a very risky situation, but again, as adults, you have to make choices for yourself. And just be honest with yourself before you get into something like that.

So, anyways again, comment below would you ever get into a friends with benefits situation? Be sure to like the video, be sure to subscribe, click that button and get your copy of HE’S LYING SIS, you know, I’m just here to provide you with a perspective to help you make sure you’re looking at things correctly and you’re aware of all the potential both pitfalls and advantages and today we talked about the pitfalls. And I just want you to know what you may be setting yourself up for when you enter into a friends with benefit situation. So, again, thank you for watching and I look forward to seeing you in the next video. (Music)

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