If you’ve been in a relationship before you’ve probably noticed that with time the spark and sizzle of a passionate connection reduces, sometimes even disappears completely. So what to do to keep the desire, passion and flame alive? And is it even possible? Keep watching because I’m going to explain all of that. Hello, YouTube family!
My name is Helena Nista and I am a sex therapist and a Tantra practitioner. I make videos about great sex, legendary pleasure, about Tantra and passionate relationships. So if you’re interested in these topics, make sure to watch my other videos and subscribe to my channel. And also hit that bell icon to be notified as soon as I post.
And now let’s talk about maintaining erotic passion and desire in relationships. I have lost count a long time ago of how many times I heard from my clients the phrase: “we don’t have sex anymore”. A lot of couples come to me with some version of this story. “We haven’t had sex in many, many months” or “We only have sex once every few months” or “My partner never initiates and I have stopped trying too”. So what’s the problem? Why do we crave sex and have so much of it at the beginning but then start to struggle with it further down the road?
And is it possible to have a frequent, intimate and orgasmic sex life in a long-term relationship? Well, the answer is “Yes!” It’s absolutely possible, however, it comes at a price. Let me explain.
Most people assume that a hot sex life is a natural consequence of a loving relationship.https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/Marginalman/M.1507052008.A.10B.html But that’s not correct. If that were true, there would be a lot less sexless marriages out there.
The story I hear most often is: “we love each other very much!… and we don’t have sex anymore”. The real issue is that we stop trying. We de-prioritize our sex life and we let it stagnate. One of the big reasons behind this problem is that very notion that a passionate sex life should spontaneously follow from a romantic love.
The truth is that sexual passion is a result of a conscious decision. Long years of an intimate and erotic connection is something that we create. It’s extremely rare to have that kind of bond in your relationship naturally, most of us have to work for it. And there are five different things we should be paying a particular attention to. Take care of your emotional connection.
There is a very strong link between how you relate emotionally and how you relate sexually. When the emotional connection suffers, so will the sex. Any resentment, upset, a sense of betrayal, loss of trust, etc. will need to be faced, addressed and processed properly. And for some couples that might mean working with a qualified relationship therapist. So make sure to use them because that’s what the therapists are trained to do.
Stop defining yourself as a half of a whole.Stop spending every possible second with your sweetheart. Make sure to fully develop your identity as a whole and full human being outside of your relationship. What are your passions? Your hobbies?
What do you enjoy doing without your partner?… Make sure to focus on that as well as focusing on your relationship. Because closeness increases love but kills passion. Whereas separateness grows your desire for each other.
Having only spontaneous sex is a myth. A lot of people resist the idea of scheduling sex. But remember when you first met and you were having a lot of hot fun together. What did you do back then?
You scheduled sex! You planned it, you arranged dates, you looked forward to it, you prepared for it and you wanted to make it special. There was nothing spontaneous about it. It was planned and it was probably very satisfying. So start taking each other on dates.
Take turns and put one person in charge of everything. The partner in charge is going to plan and prepare everything as a gift to their lover. And next time you’re going to swap. I teach a lot of my clients different tantric practices and rituals. Tantric practices are an incredibly beautiful way to grow the intimacy, connection and sensuality in your relationship.
Tantra also teaches men and women how to have much better sex, how to make sex last much longer, how to resensitize your entire system for expanded full-body energetic orgasms, how to be multi-orgasmic, how to enter trance-like states of bliss and orgasmic merging together in bed. So if you are finding that your sex life is lacking something or that simply you’d love to take your bedroom connection to a whole new level, make sure to check out my Tantric Sex for Couples online course! I will link it down below in the description. Because Tantra is the most straightforward path towards better sex, stronger orgasms and deeper pleasure. Your sex life doesn’t need to be a serious matter.
Have fun with it! Take a trip to the local sex shop or eBay online and look for toys, outfits and accessories that you find exciting. Share your sexual fantasies with each other and discuss which ones of them you would like to play out.
You might want to dance and strip for each other. Maybe have a pillow fight, play naked poker, give each other an erotic massage, have sex outdoors or play a doctor and naughty nurse. This is YOUR sex life and nobody gets to decide what it looks like but the two of you. I hope that this helps and answers some questions for you. If you enjoyed this video please give it a ‘Like’.
This is obviously just the tip of the iceberg of the topic of sexual passion and desire in relationships and I’ll be making more videos on it soon. Please also comment below and let me know which ones of my tips you’re going to try. I always respond personally to all of the comments and I can’t wait to read yours.
Thank you so much for watching and see you in my next video!