How To Make Him Your Hero | 8 Ways to Inspire a Man into his Power

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Hi, in this video I’m going to share how to make a man your hero. Hi there, Mat Shaffer, your empowerment connection and relationship coach. I’m a former attorney who’s committed his life to supporting you and creating the sort of fun fulfilling dynamic connections and relationships with men that you are so worthy of. And I’m so excited to talk to you about this topic. I’m going to share with you eight different ways that you can inspire a man to be the hero not just in your life, but in his own life as well.

You have incredible power to do that. And we’re going to dig into it in just a second. But before we do, if you haven’t already, take a second hit that little subscribe button and don’t forget to click that link in the comments and caption, I have created some great training that’s going to make a huge difference in your connections and relationships with men. And before we get into How To Make a Man Your Hero, let’s look at what does it mean for a man to be in his hero space or his hero self to begin with. First and foremost a man who is operating as a hero in his own world, he is grounded in his sense of self.

He knows who he is. He knows what his gifts and powers are. And he’s using them to full effect out there in the world. He’s pursuing his passion in a big way.

He’s out there going for it, living his life with purpose. And thirdly, and most importantly, he has a big vision for his life that drives him and motivates him, and that he’s moving towards on a regular basis.https://www.christiancafe.com/online-dating/christian-dating-site And you may be encountering some big obstacles in his pursuit of that, but he’s taking them on every day. So now I have a question for you.

Does this sound like the man that you’re in relationship or the men that you’ve dated in the past or not? Because here’s the thing, if this is someone where you’re like, “I’ve never dated anybody who’s like that!”. Actually, yes, you have, because every man, no matter where they’re at in their life, or what stage of their life that they’re in, they have a hero within them.

A hero waiting to be activated. And you a lot of times can be the one to activate it for them. Because you as a woman, you have a very special role in a man’s life. You are the inspirer. You are the invoker for him.

You are the Muse that can help a man step into his role as a hero in his life. Now I’m going to share eight important ways that you can help a man step into his hero role. Are you ready?

Let’s go. First off, if he doesn’t have a vision, start asking powerful questions. A lot of times men lack vision in their lives, because they just don’t have clarity, right? They don’t have clarity around who they are, or about what they really want to create in the world.

For example, you could ask him, what would you love to do if money didn’t matter? That’s a question that’s especially good if he hates his job or hates his career. Which for me, as a former lawyer, I completely and deeply understand that. And another fun question to ask is, what would your life look like in five years? If everything unfolded perfectly and get him to really drop in his imagination and play with him in that space, right?

Like, what would it look like? What would it feel like? What would every aspect of your life? What car would you be driving? What work would you be doing?

Play that game with him getting to look like. Get him to look at maybe for the first time in his life? Wow, what would my life look like maybe five years or seven years down the road, if just everything I wanted, came to pass? And another great question to ask is, what lights you up? What are your passions?

What are you excited about right now? And from there from that basis point where he starts speaking into his feelings of what he’s excited about what his passions are, what he’s passionate about, you can start asking him like, Well, so what would this look like – you know, if you were to take what you’re passionate about, and turn it into a larger purpose in your life, how could you help the world sometimes all it takes for a man to really step into his vision in his life is for him to have a woman Who’s asking him these questions to help him dig deeper and really introspect and reflect, because men, by their very nature aren’t necessarily very good at that. And another way to help him and be a hero is to acknowledge and support his vision for his life, if he does have one, even if you don’t understand it. Okay, this is such an important point. Because men if they do have a vision, it’s something that they hold near and dear to their heart.

Like maybe their vision is to create a business, right? That leaves a legacy for generations and their family. And just because maybe you don’t understand his business, you can get behind and support his passion for what it is that he wants to create, you know, he might have a very complicated business in a in a niche or a field that you don’t understand at all.

But that doesn’t matter, right? All you want to do is support him and acknowledge him for how hard he works and for everything he’s pouring into that business because likely, it’s a hugely central part of his life, and he doesn’t need you to understand all the logistics, he just needs to feel from you that you are acknowledging, and really letting him know that this is something that you celebrate, and that you support him in his pursuit of it. Remember, ladies, the masculine loves to be recognized and acknowledged for what it’s creating in the world by the feminine, and nowhere is this more important than in the pursuit of their dreams. And a third important way to help a man step into his hero essence is to not be threatened by his pursuit of his vision.

And more so than anything, ladies, don’t try to come between him and his hero’s quest are what it is that he’s trying to create. Okay? You are not trying to be this man’s purpose. You want to be his partner in his pursuit of it.

Do you know what I’m saying? I know a lot of you are having dreams or fantasies right about being the center of a man’s world. And I understand the importance of being a priority in a man’s life because Here’s the thing, you don’t want to be his purpose. You want him to have a purpose and a vision for his life bigger than you. And you want to be a partner in his pursuit of it right and him building his empire, you want him to be the king and you to be his queen, right?

And for you to build something beautiful together, right? But you don’t want him to make you that sole thing that he’s moving towards in his life. Because realistically, that isn’t healthy. Does that make sense?

So don’t feel threatened by a man, if he’s got a business or a vision or a legacy for what he wants to leave in the world. That’s huge, right? You get to trust that he’s going to be able to integrate you into his life and into his pursuit of that and just recognize that if you try to come between him and what it is that he is working to create and pouring his whole life into, he’s gonna start seeing you as a threat to his growth and his pursuit of his vision and his life.

And then you’re not going to be helping him become the hero that he’s craving to be. Right? You’re actually going to be someone trying to keep him from that, it’ll probably end up taking you out of his life. Remember, ladies, men are like bread, they need space to rise. And this is especially true when it comes to a man’s pursuit of his purpose, or his vision, or the whatever quest he is on in his life.

Remember, men are single focus, we’re not good at thinking about a lot of different things at the same time. So when a man is locked into his pursuit of his life’s work, you want to be giving him the space to actually get after it, right? You don’t want to be coming between it or distracting him from it. And I’ve got a three step process to help you determine and give a man the space he needs. The first thing is for you to acknowledge and recognize that he is in work mode, right?

So whatever it is that he’s getting after in his life, right? You want to just acknowledge Hey, so I see that you’re really pouring a lot of time and attention into your business into whatever it is that you’re building. I completely see that and I’m kidding. curious, what do you need for me?

How much space Do you need for me because I want to make sure to honor and give you what it is that you need to create what it is that I can see, you’re so passionate about creating. So how can I support you? And how much space Do you need for me, and then once he tells you how much space he needs, ladies, then comes the most important part is you get to give him that space and trust him with that space. Okay, so give him that distance, whatever it is that he needs to build what it is that he is committed to building in the world. Just sit back and give him that space and then come back to him and ask him how did it go.

And this is going to require a great degree of trust, right, trusting him to pursue that with you watching at a distance, trusting yourself and your own value enough to recognize that he’s going to come back. But trust me when I say that it is a huge demonstration of value from you to give him that space and be comfortable in giving it to him. And this next tip is so important.

If you want a man to feel like a hero, and that you’re on his hero’s quest with him, you want to always come to him from a space and an energy of partnership, not an energy of mothering, or smothering or trying to control or hold him small, which is what a lot of women do when they’re angry, or they’re feeling threatened, or they’re triggered by a man. So especially when you got to have a confrontation with him right over something, maybe he’s done, that you don’t like, or something he’s not doing for you that you need. You have every right to own your voice and ask for what it is that you want, and to speak to him about what it is that he’s doing that you don’t agree with. But you want to be really careful about the energy that you’re bringing to that conversation. You want to always come to him from a grounded space of partnership.

That you are here to be there in this situation with him and help figure out a solution with him. Rather than coming over the top and just being angry and hitting him over the head with whatever it is that you’re talking about. And another great way to make a man step into his hero essence is to really allow him and let him lead. Let him lead the way in your dating and in your relationship and allow him to make mistakes. Heroes need to be trusted to lead the way to blaze the path and to mess up.

You don’t want to be protecting him from himself because again, that is something that a mother would do. And you do not want to step into the maternal role. A hero is not relying upon his mother to shield him from the bumps and bruises of life, okay?

Hi, in this video I’m going to share how to make a man your hero. Hi there, Mat Shaffer, your empowerment connection and relationship coach. I’m a former attorney who’s committed his life to supporting you and creating the sort of fun fulfilling dynamic connections and relationships with men that you are so worthy of. And I’m so excited to talk to you about this topic. I’m going to share with you eight different ways that you can inspire a man to be the hero not just in your life, but in his own life as well.

You have incredible power to do that. And we’re going to dig into it in just a second. But before we do, if you haven’t already, take a second hit that little subscribe button and don’t forget to click that link in the comments and caption, I have created some great training that’s going to make a huge difference in your connections and relationships with men. And before we get into How To Make a Man Your Hero, let’s look at what does it mean for a man to be in his hero space or his hero self to begin with. First and foremost a man who is operating as a hero in his own world, he is grounded in his sense of self.

He knows who he is. He knows what his gifts and powers are. And he’s using them to full effect out there in the world. He’s pursuing his passion in a big way.

He’s out there going for it, living his life with purpose. And thirdly, and most importantly, he has a big vision for his life that drives him and motivates him, and that he’s moving towards on a regular basis. And you may be encountering some big obstacles in his pursuit of that, but he’s taking them on every day. So now I have a question for you.

Does this sound like the man that you’re in relationship or the men that you’ve dated in the past or not? Because here’s the thing, if this is someone where you’re like, “I’ve never dated anybody who’s like that!”. Actually, yes, you have, because every man, no matter where they’re at in their life, or what stage of their life that they’re in, they have a hero within them.

A hero waiting to be activated. And you a lot of times can be the one to activate it for them. Because you as a woman, you have a very special role in a man’s life. You are the inspirer. You are the invoker for him.

You are the Muse that can help a man step into his role as a hero in his life. Now I’m going to share eight important ways that you can help a man step into his hero role. Are you ready?

Let’s go. First off, if he doesn’t have a vision, start asking powerful questions. A lot of times men lack vision in their lives, because they just don’t have clarity, right? They don’t have clarity around who they are, or about what they really want to create in the world.

Dating

For example, you could ask him, what would you love to do if money didn’t matter? That’s a question that’s especially good if he hates his job or hates his career. Which for me, as a former lawyer, I completely and deeply understand that. And another fun question to ask is, what would your life look like in five years? If everything unfolded perfectly and get him to really drop in his imagination and play with him in that space, right?

Like, what would it look like? What would it feel like? What would every aspect of your life? What car would you be driving? What work would you be doing?

Play that game with him getting to look like. Get him to look at maybe for the first time in his life? Wow, what would my life look like maybe five years or seven years down the road, if just everything I wanted, came to pass? And another great question to ask is, what lights you up? What are your passions?

What are you excited about right now? And from there from that basis point where he starts speaking into his feelings of what he’s excited about what his passions are, what he’s passionate about, you can start asking him like, Well, so what would this look like – you know, if you were to take what you’re passionate about, and turn it into a larger purpose in your life, how could you help the world sometimes all it takes for a man to really step into his vision in his life is for him to have a woman Who’s asking him these questions to help him dig deeper and really introspect and reflect, because men, by their very nature aren’t necessarily very good at that. And another way to help him and be a hero is to acknowledge and support his vision for his life, if he does have one, even if you don’t understand it. Okay, this is such an important point. Because men if they do have a vision, it’s something that they hold near and dear to their heart.

Like maybe their vision is to create a business, right? That leaves a legacy for generations and their family. And just because maybe you don’t understand his business, you can get behind and support his passion for what it is that he wants to create, you know, he might have a very complicated business in a in a niche or a field that you don’t understand at all.

But that doesn’t matter, right? All you want to do is support him and acknowledge him for how hard he works and for everything he’s pouring into that business because likely, it’s a hugely central part of his life, and he doesn’t need you to understand all the logistics, he just needs to feel from you that you are acknowledging, and really letting him know that this is something that you celebrate, and that you support him in his pursuit of it. Remember, ladies, the masculine loves to be recognized and acknowledged for what it’s creating in the world by the feminine, and nowhere is this more important than in the pursuit of their dreams. And a third important way to help a man step into his hero essence is to not be threatened by his pursuit of his vision.

And more so than anything, ladies, don’t try to come between him and his hero’s quest are what it is that he’s trying to create. Okay? You are not trying to be this man’s purpose. You want to be his partner in his pursuit of it.

Do you know what I’m saying? I know a lot of you are having dreams or fantasies right about being the center of a man’s world. And I understand the importance of being a priority in a man’s life because Here’s the thing, you don’t want to be his purpose. You want him to have a purpose and a vision for his life bigger than you. And you want to be a partner in his pursuit of it right and him building his empire, you want him to be the king and you to be his queen, right?

And for you to build something beautiful together, right? But you don’t want him to make you that sole thing that he’s moving towards in his life. Because realistically, that isn’t healthy. Does that make sense?

So don’t feel threatened by a man, if he’s got a business or a vision or a legacy for what he wants to leave in the world. That’s huge, right? You get to trust that he’s going to be able to integrate you into his life and into his pursuit of that and just recognize that if you try to come between him and what it is that he is working to create and pouring his whole life into, he’s gonna start seeing you as a threat to his growth and his pursuit of his vision and his life.

And then you’re not going to be helping him become the hero that he’s craving to be. Right? You’re actually going to be someone trying to keep him from that, it’ll probably end up taking you out of his life. Remember, ladies, men are like bread, they need space to rise. And this is especially true when it comes to a man’s pursuit of his purpose, or his vision, or the whatever quest he is on in his life.

Remember, men are single focus, we’re not good at thinking about a lot of different things at the same time. So when a man is locked into his pursuit of his life’s work, you want to be giving him the space to actually get after it, right? You don’t want to be coming between it or distracting him from it. And I’ve got a three step process to help you determine and give a man the space he needs. The first thing is for you to acknowledge and recognize that he is in work mode, right?

So whatever it is that he’s getting after in his life, right? You want to just acknowledge Hey, so I see that you’re really pouring a lot of time and attention into your business into whatever it is that you’re building. I completely see that and I’m kidding. curious, what do you need for me?

How much space Do you need for me because I want to make sure to honor and give you what it is that you need to create what it is that I can see, you’re so passionate about creating. So how can I support you? And how much space Do you need for me, and then once he tells you how much space he needs, ladies, then comes the most important part is you get to give him that space and trust him with that space. Okay, so give him that distance, whatever it is that he needs to build what it is that he is committed to building in the world. Just sit back and give him that space and then come back to him and ask him how did it go.

And this is going to require a great degree of trust, right, trusting him to pursue that with you watching at a distance, trusting yourself and your own value enough to recognize that he’s going to come back. But trust me when I say that it is a huge demonstration of value from you to give him that space and be comfortable in giving it to him. And this next tip is so important.

If you want a man to feel like a hero, and that you’re on his hero’s quest with him, you want to always come to him from a space and an energy of partnership, not an energy of mothering, or smothering or trying to control or hold him small, which is what a lot of women do when they’re angry, or they’re feeling threatened, or they’re triggered by a man. So especially when you got to have a confrontation with him right over something, maybe he’s done, that you don’t like, or something he’s not doing for you that you need. You have every right to own your voice and ask for what it is that you want, and to speak to him about what it is that he’s doing that you don’t agree with. But you want to be really careful about the energy that you’re bringing to that conversation. You want to always come to him from a grounded space of partnership.

That you are here to be there in this situation with him and help figure out a solution with him. Rather than coming over the top and just being angry and hitting him over the head with whatever it is that you’re talking about. And another great way to make a man step into his hero essence is to really allow him and let him lead. Let him lead the way in your dating and in your relationship and allow him to make mistakes. Heroes need to be trusted to lead the way to blaze the path and to mess up.

You don’t want to be protecting him from himself because again, that is something that a mother would do. And you do not want to step into the maternal role. A hero is not relying upon his mother to shield him from the bumps and bruises of life, okay?

You want to be his partner trusting him and allowing him to forge a new path and you’re with him on that path wherever it leads. And one of the most powerful ways to really make a man feel like you are on his hero’s quest with him and you see him as that hero in his life. Is to celebrate his victories and soothe his defeats as he goes after his life’s purpose. This is so important.

Like I said earlier, the masculine is craving acknowledgement from the feminine for what he’s doing and creating in the world. And this is so so so important when he’s out there slaying his dragons, right, that you’re right there with him cheering him on being his biggest cheerleaders. And when he returns from his quest, whether it be his day at work, or his trip across the country, or maybe just like a visit to his mother, right?

That you’re there, and you’re there celebrating him. And if he’s had a tough day, and if he got his butt kicked, right? In whatever it is that he’s up to in the world, that you’re there to soothe him and nurture him and really help heal him from that process.

That is how you establish that partnership, and you really help him feel supported and empowered to get up, put his armor back on the next day and get back out there. That’s one of the most powerful roles you have in the life of a man, a man who’s out there being a hero in his World is you get to be His sanctuary. When he returns from battle, you get to be his safe space for him to put down his armor and be vulnerable and connect with you. Right. So this all goes back to partnership, you truly are in this together, right?

His wins are your wins, his losses are your losses, and you too are a team. This will really strengthen the love connection that you two have together and create loyalty and devotion on his side. So be sure to do this. And lastly, ladies, if you want a man to step into his role as a hero, both out in the world and with you make your relationship a quest for him as well. Right set boundaries and set the tempo for him.

Make challenges along the way for him. Make him earn the right to be the man in your life. Right? Like hold your frame with him.

These are all things that create high value in the eyes of men and men love to work for things. Like we love to earn the things in our life, and if you want him to have that deep, abiding love for you, and that passion and see you as another incredible conquest in his in his role and as a hero and having a hero’s journey. Then be that quest for him as well be a challenge that he’s excited and inspired to get up and go after every day.

So if you’re able to use these eight tips in your connections and relationships with men, you are going to be able to activate that hero that’s lying dormant within them. And if they’re already in their hero’s quest, you’re going to really help bond yourself to them and empower them to go even further with it. So remember, if he doesn’t have a vision, start by asking powerful questions that get him to self reflect and look at what would His perfect life look like in five years? What is he passionate about?

What lights him up? And what would he be doing in this world if he didn’t need the money. And if he’s got a vision acknowledged support it. Even if you don’t understand it, a man wants to feel that from you.

He wants to feel seen and supported for his vision, even if it’s something that is way outside of your field of interest. And don’t allow yourself to feel threatened by his vision, or trying to come between him and what it is that he’s creating in the world, you will not win that fight. Remember, being the center of his universe may seem nice on paper, but realistically, it isn’t what you want and give him space to pursue his vision.

Ask him how much space he needs, and then honor and trust fully respect whatever space he needs to create what it is that he’s creating in the world. And do your best to always come to him for discussions, especially confrontive conversations with an energy of feminine partnership, not mothering or smothering or fearful. That is going to empower him to drop in and be vulnerable with you and see you as his partner on his hero’s quest.

Remember to let him lead the way and if he’s going to make a mistake, let him make it. Don’t try to over protect him. Remember, that’s what his mom does. And remember, like any good partner, you want to celebrate his victories and soothe his defeats when he comes off the battlefield. Remember, y’all are in this together.

And you’re right there with him. His wins are your wins, and his losses are your losses. And lastly, make your relationship a quest for him as well. Hold your frame, make it a challenge, right?

Don’t just yield to him every step of the way. Make him earn the right to have you in his life that will raise your value in his eyes. And it’s something that men deeply appreciate. And I say this from the bottom of my heart, ladies.

Sometimes all a man needs to step into his power and really embrace his role as a hero is the love and belief of a good woman who sets that bar and asks him to rise to To earn her love, so do not discount the incredible inspiring role you can play in the elevation of a man within his life. So get out there and inspire the man in your life to be the hero he was born to be. You can do it, but before you do, take a second and hit that little subscribe button and don’t forget to click that link in the comments in caption, I have created some great training that’s gonna make a huge difference in your connections and relationships with men.

Thanks so much for stopping by and I’ll see you in my next video. Bye

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